It's Not My Fault
by Jajuin
Summary: Daltonverse! fic. Mainly about the Stuart trio, with some Jogan implied. Logan is abusing inanimate objects, and the question is: why?  Not a very good summary, I know but there you go.  Set after Chapter 26: Hell Night.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they belong wholly to the lovely Mama CP.

I'm just venting out my unexpressed feelings of angst towards these people. Personally I think I could've done a better job with the ending, but I can't think of a way to do it. :/ You guys be the judge. (I'd greatly appreciate any reviews/comments.)

**Note**: If you haven't read Chapter 26 of Dalton, (Hell Night) then you might not be able to understand the final part of this fic. The beginning to mid-part has nothing to do with what has already happened.

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><p>The sound of doors bursting open startles the stressed out Stuarts during their precious studying time. Some roll their eyes in annoyance while others continue reading, now used to the sudden loud noises coming from the anteroom above them. Logan bangs his fist against the wall, onto the table; basically anywhere tough enough to take the immense force he packs into every punch. Derek sits on the couch nearby, waiting for him to calm down before attempting to address the issue. When Logan slumps down beside him after ten solid minutes of randomly abusing inanimate objects, he finally speaks up.<p>

"Better now?"

"Yes." Logan's short, clipped answer is enough to tell Derek that no, he isn't feeling any better. There's still anger pent up in him, and a lot of it too.

"To think it would've stopped after the first week," Derek throws him a reprimanding look. "At least you don't take it out on people anymore. I just feel bad for all this stuff." He gestures to the nearly destroyed room they're sitting in. "_Our _stuff by the way, not just yours."

"Do you expect me to apologize?" the blond boy asks in a bored tone, the previous burst of energy he possessed gone.

"No, I expect you to snap out of it. Come on Lo, you've been doing this everyday since—"

"It's not my fault I can't control my anger anymore," Logan cuts in with a dangerously low tone. "I take the meds, but even in that haze I still feel like ripping something apart. There's no point in taking them if they're not going to help. Why drug myself with something that will dull other feelings when the one I'm trying to escape from is still going to be there?" He sighs in defeat and shakes his head adamantly. "It's not my fault."

"Then whose is it? Mine?" Derek gets up from the couch and walks into his room. "Or Julian's?" Logan looks at him spitefully. "Of all the emotions you're 'trying' to escape from, Lo, anger isn't one of them," he says, giving Logan a meaningful look before slamming the door shut. "This guy is impossible," he says to himself quietly, annoyed and fed up with Logan's tantrums. He can only put up with so much, and he just can't handle that squid by himself anymore. "Jules," he almost whispers as he rubs the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Why'd you have to leave us?"

On the other side of the door, Logan is still in the same position Derek left him in. Sitting on the couch, surrounded by the mess he created in his earlier rant. He just stares into space, oblivious of how much time has passed. After what seems like forever, he finally lies down. The blond boy could have walked the short distance to his bedroom instead, but he just doesn't have the strength. He never has the strength to do anything anymore, except those random moments when his anger fuels him to damage everything in his path out of rage. Out of pain.

"Jules, just stop," he says almost pleadingly to himself, shutting his eyes tightly as images of the brown-eyed brunette swim endlessly in front of him. The pain is just too much, the gaping hole he feels in his chest growing bigger and bigger the more Julian fills his mind. "Stop haunting me, please." After a while, Logan finds himself drifting to sleep and he dreams. Dreams of the day he lost the only person who has ever truly loved him.

Derek opens his door after an hour or so, assuming that Logan is asleep due to the lack of noise coming from anywhere in the house. Sure enough, he sees his best friend passed out on the couch, but he's tossing and turning in his sleep. Walking nearer to him, the athlete notices beads of sweat on the singer's forehead.

"Lo?" Derek asks worriedly, wondering what's going on in that messed up head of his so much that he can't even sleep peacefully.

"I'm sorry," Logan blurts out, eyes still closed. "I'm so sorry." A sob escapes his mouth and a frown pulls at the edges of his lips.

"Logan." Derek tries to shake him awake, but to no avail. The blond boy refuses to wake up; stuck in a nightmare he wishes he would never experience again.

"Logan!" Derek practically yells in his ear, not bearing to see his friend go through so much pain. Logan's eyes finally fly open and he gasps. Disoriented, he grabs onto the edge of the couch and part of Derek's shirt to pull himself up into a sitting position. He doesn't care that Derek can see how vulnerable he is; he'll worry about that later. There's only one thing on his mind and he can't keep holding it in anymore. Logan lets out another sob and completely breaks down.

"He—" Logan chokes out, finally letting all the pain and sorrow show through. "He just left. Packed his bags and left us a freaking note. No explanations. No final words. Just. A freaking. Note." Derek, while stunned at how his best friend is acting, puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. "He didn't even wait to see…"

"See what?' Derek asks carefully, not wanting to suddenly set off Logan if he says the wrong thing.

Logan's green eyes look up. They've lost their intensity; now they just look dull and lifeless. "See if I could've loved him back." At this last sentence, he breaks down in tears. Derek looks to the direction of Julian's empty room. The door is closed, but he knows what's in it. Just a bed stripped of its sheets, and a piece of paper. The two friends never took it out of the room; they put it back where they found it right after it was read and never looked back.

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_Dear Logan and Derek,_

_By the time you read this I wouldn't be on campus anymore. I know you're going to think I'm a huge ass for not saying goodbye, and I'm not going to argue with you on that. I'm sorry for what happened; I should've done something sooner about Adam. I'm sorry for putting you guys through so much crap and sorry for acting like such a diva all the time. When I'm gone you guys can relax a bit. There's one less thing to worry about now._

_It's been a good three years, right? Fight or no fight, we've been best friends all this while, though that's probably going to change after you guys read this._

_I'm not coming back to Dalton. Someone will be over soon to pack up the rest of my stuff, then my room will be open for anyone who wants to use it._

_I'm glad I met you guys during freshman year. Try not to rip each other's heads off while I'm gone._

_Julian._

_P.S. Thanks for taking care of me Derek. No one else would've put up with such a diva like me._

_P.P.S. It's okay Logan, I never expected anything in return from you. Sorry things happened the way they did, I didn't want you to find out that way._

_Goodbye._


End file.
